Babies for Dummies

When it comes to babies/children/kids/little monsters, I am completely clueless.  I know absolutely nothing about them. Not one thing. Nada.

I am at the age where my friends and colleagues are married and starting their own families.  Eventually, I, myself, will start considering what it means to be a mom and bring a new little person into this crazy, silly world!

But first, I have all kinds of questions. And yes, they are silly! Of course, they are!  I know nothing about babies/children/kids/little monsters, remember?

Here are the questions that are currently consuming my thoughts – Is baby fever contagious? Will I ever catch it?

How do you know when you are ready?  Is there ever a time when you think, “ok, now! we are completely ready for a baby.”  

How much does raising a kid cost? Can we afford it?  

Can I really be that selfless? Do you mean I really have to share?

Will my dogs be jealous? How will they cope? 

Do I want a midwife instead of the traditional hospital care? p.s. Have you watched the business of being born?

Will we need a nanny? Can I work + care for a baby while also cleaning, cooking, dog walking + snuggling, etc?

What happens if the baby/child/kid/little monster loves my husband more than he/she loves me?

What happens if my husband loves the baby/child/kid/little monster more than he loves me?  

How does one travel with a baby/child/kid/little monster on planes, trains, and automobiles?

And the most important question is the following: Does it hurt? Hell Yes? Well then how does one have multiple children? If I burned my hand on the stove, I wouldn’t put my hand on a hot burner again! Ever! Isn’t that the same concept?

 

 

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