Afternoon Fun @The Pelican Inn

On weekends, we plan activities to get us out of the house and exploring our favorite parts of the Bay Area.  A few weekends ago, we went to Pelican Inn at {Muir Beach}.

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We literally sat on a blanket for three hours while we basked in the sunshine and watched Henry interact with all of the other blanket loungers at the Inn.

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The Honest Truth: My Biggest Fear

My biggest fear used to be burning alive.

But then my perspective changed.  I birthed a baby.  

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Now my biggest, darkest fear is losing Henry.

…losing him too soon.

…losing him to a stranger.

…losing him to a medical mystery.

…losing him in any way that takes him away from me.

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It is unfathomable, yet I find myself being paralyzed with fear on a daily basis.  While this makes me want to lock him away in a secure bubble to ensure this doesn’t happen, we live each day to the fullest because none of us know how much time we have on this Earth.

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I read a news story today that really affected me.

It happened a few blocks away from our house.

A couple with a two year old were robbed at knifepoint while they were out for a walk.

…during the day.

I want to cry. Cry for those people in the news story. Cry for myself. Just cry.

On a daily basis I think to myself, “No one has ever nor will they ever love anyone more than I love Henry.” Seriously, I think this. I think it every single day.

And the truth of the matter is…

I believe it! I honestly believe it with every fiber of my being.

I start to feel proud.

…but then

I feel embarrassed.

..but then

I feel sorry.

I feel sorry for everyone who isn’t me because they will never experience the intense feeling of love and attachment that I feel for Henry.

…and then the cycle starts over.

Because…

I realize that every mama must feel this way for her child.

Hardly Strictly Bluegrass 2015

The beginning of October is my all time favorite weekend in the Bay!  In addition to it being Daddy Beetle’s birthday (Happy Birthday), it is the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass festival, which is a free music festival in Golden Gate Park where you can picnic, BYOB, bring your dogs and is super family-friendly.

Morning Walks with My Fave

After a good night sleep, I was determined to take Henry for a walk before I started work around 8am.  I had planned on strolling him and our dog, Wally, to the canyon and to play at the playground.  Well, we had to scratch the playground idea because I bored him to sleep before we even got there.

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Yes, it is true that I was listening to a podcast about Elimination Communication (EC).  And yes, I can understand that he may find this particular topic rather boring, but I needed something to fill my ears and Spotify wasn’t working on my phone.

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I think that is a pretty good arrangement, don’t you?  When Henry sleeps, I can listen to a podcast?  Yes, it is boring mom stuff, but it is something educational.  For when he wakes, I will talk and point and squeal and coo to him while also introducing him to all of the amazing things in the world.

Like, this little snail family –

Just so you know, baby snails are tiny and adorable. And, I mean T-I-N-Y! For a slimy creature, (which I’m terrified of), little bitty baby snails are the exception.

Baby Snail in Glen Park

Is that snail poop? Yuck!

A Beachy Afternoon With My Main Squeeze

On Saturday, Hen and I hit the beach to enjoy the sunshine and warm weather.  Packed with sunscreen and a sunshade tent, we had a lovely afternoon looking at the sea lions, picking up seashells, playing in the sand, and watching all of the beach goers.Henry at the Beach

Of course we had to stop playing to fit in an afternoon snack! Priorities, people! Priorities!

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We had to document our day with a beach selfie!hensat4

…and his little hand!  OMG! My heart melted.hensat3 hensat2hensat1 hensat

It took at least ten minutes for Hen to feel comfortable enough to come out of the tent and explore. He was making the most hilarious faces so I had to snap a photo!

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Once he was out, he LOVED the sand, the rocks, the seashells, the birds, the planes, the other kids, and the waves in the ocean, as evidenced by the photos above.

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Pumping In The Bathroom

Vegas is so family friendly, they tell me. 

Well then why am I in a dirty bathroom stall pumping?  Yuck!

Since there’s no “mother’s room” at the conference I’m at, this will be my home every 2-3 hours.  Lucky me! {insert sarcasm} 

As women walk in to wash their hands and do their business, I keep overhearing, “what is that sound?” 

Ha! Don’t worry ladies…it’s just me doing my thang!

On second thought, I’m going straight to the organizers about this because where do I store my milk? 

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The Master of Multi-Tasking

While I wait for the hotel shuttle to pick me up at the airport, I’m sitting on a bench typing this with one hand and pumping with the other. 

…it may not be glamorous, but it is real life.  
 
I’m trying to be as discreet as possible, but I’m still getting mean looks.  

Not only is it 100 degrees outside, but it’s impossible to find a spot where I’m not eating second hand smoke – does everyone smoke in Vegas?

Whoever said, Don’t cry over spilled milk, wasn’t a breastfeeding/pumping mama!

A Breakfast Picnic in Denver

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We made our way to Denver for the holiday weekend to spend some quality time with family and are enjoying the slow pace and picturesque skylines of Colorado.

This morning we grabbed breakfast and had a picnic at a local park to enjoy the sunshine, get some fresh air, and to let the dogs run their crazies out.IMG_2944

Women {Not} Helping Women – Looking At You, Marissa Mayer

Cruising People.com today, I saw a headline that gutted me!  The headline made me deflate like a hole in a helium balloon…

Shame on People.com for reporting such garbage and shame on Marissa Mayer for being a public figure in the spotlight and not helping women and women rights!

If you’re wondering, here is the headline –

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(Source)

As a working, professional woman in the tech world in San Francisco/Silicon Valley, I am crushed by this because I was directly affected by the mentality that pregnancy and giving birth is like a disability, which IT IS NOT!  From someone who lost her job in the tech space when I announced my pregnancy, this headline fills me with fury!  Seriously Marissa?!

The days after giving birth are sacred and let’s be honest, not pretty from the body perspective.  For one, you still look pregnant a few days after giving birth, you are bleeding from EVERYWHERE, you are sleep deprived, and most importantly, your ONE job is to nourish and take care of your baby.  As my Mom once said, “They [babies] didn’t ask to be brought into this world!”  You would think she knows “all about it,” considering she also has a kid.

What Do I Expect?

Well, for one, I expect women to stand up for other women! I expect for public figures to use their fame and the spotlight to promote equal rights.  I’m sorry but telling the world that you won’t be taking much time off of work and that you will be working all throughout your pregnancy and delivery is setting the expectation that what she is doing is normal! Clearly, it is not!

Let’s be honest!  There are very few people who have nannies and caretakers and house cleaners and chefs and everyone else to do everything for them so that the single focus can be a career.  While she has worked hard for this privilege (I assume), there has to be some knowledge that her life is not the norm.  And that means that when she makes statements like this and the media covers it, it makes it hard for all of the other women that are not part of the 1%.

Shame on you!