No Peace + Quiet

Poor Henry!  He can’t even eat in peace.

If we aren’t on the move, he has the dogs to compete with every morning.   After he finished eating breakfast in his designated chair, he wanted a squeeze pouch as a snack.

How do I know he wanted it?

Well, he grabbed it off the kitchen shelf and sat against the door trying to open it on his own. He is such a looney toon!  But also, such a bright boy!  I’m constantly amazed at the things he has picked up in his short 15 months on this Earth – he’s amazing!

He so’s hilarious because he gives the dogs the side eye, just like they give him when they are eating and he is trying to terrorize them by the dog bowl.  It’s all equal in this household.

#treateveryoneequal

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Throwback to when Hen was six months old

While browsing the photos on my computer yesterday, I came across a folder of photos from when Mr. Henry Hayes was six months old. On one hand, it seems like it was just yesterday. But then again, it feels like a lifetime ago because he has transformed into an independent PERSON. Even though my family still refers to him as “baby henry,” he is not a baby anymore!  Although, the saying is true…He’ll always be MY baby.  

QUEUE MARIA CAREY!

Thanks for Your Patience

As I’m busy rearranging the house to get the right “feel” for our family home, Henry is being very tolerant of being moved around the house from room to room to eat. (Thanks, bud).

I have this dream that we will sit around the table and eat our meals together but I can’t seem to get the house QUITE right. The {real} problem?  I don’t feel settled. I don’t feel PROUD of our current housing situation in terms of the material items in it, the decor, the feel, the smell, the ambiance…

I LOVE spending time at home with my family.  Whether we decide to dance to Bob Marley in our underwear or cuddle on the couch to read the same three books (for the 10 billionth time), my best memories and times are of the three of us being in our home.

BUT

I don’t love spending time in our house. I love being at home, but not in this home. How do I fall in love with that? How can I change my perspective so that I can turn my negative emotions and feelings into something positive? How do I FIX this?

I don’t know but am currently spending energy trying to figure it out.

On to a happier note, I want to brag about Henry (of course)! He’s my sunshine. My heart. My soul. My everything.

What you may not know is that THIS kid loves food. His favorites are bananas, hummus, bread (of any kind), and chicken.


He has such a gentle, kind heart that he can’t eat without tossing food down to the dogs so that no one feels left out. awwwwwww!!!!

Just look at that sweet sweet face!
  
It must be noted that we are now in the phase of “helping” which means he will bring me his shoes to put on his feet, bring me wipes to signal a diaper change, and now he likes to have a napkin so that he can clean his face and hands off after eating.

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Currently…

Hen has been on a nap strike over the past few days.  I guess he is having too much fun and has too much FOMO {fear of missing out}. Whatever is going on, it seems that we may have turned over a new leaf this morning.  He’s currently passed out in our bed looking like a starfish.

I just can’t even handle the cuteness…

Our Whirlwind Weekend – South Lake Tahoe, CA

It’s Monday – blah!

But the good news is that I am having a blast reminiscing about our weekend.  On Friday, we headed up to South Lake Tahoe, CA where Henry and his sweet friend, Lizzie, saw snow for the firs time. I absolutely love FIRSTS!

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Speaking of firsts…

This was my first trip/vacation with a family who has a babe around Hen’s age.  It was an absolute blast and a great FIRST experience.

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I don’t know how we did it, but we packed in EVERYTHING we wanted to do in a short amount of time.  We took the babies sled riding, the dads took them up the mountain in a gondola, the moms luxuriated with massages, tv time, and a dip in the hot tub. We ate great food, had awesome conversations, and had the best time watching Henry + Lizzie play together.

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Mark this under my new favorite hobby – #1 is watching Hen + Lizzie interact.

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Moody Mondays

Talk about the Monday BLUES! Ugh, after taking a month-long leave from work, it is hard to get back into the swing of things.  Add to that the amazing trip we just returned from yesterday + this Monday feels extra-BLAH!

To help me ease into the routine of Henry returning back with the nanny during the day, I can not stop looking at our vacation photos.

This animation has been bringing a smile to my face all dang day.  Hen is such a little ham + loves being a California baby.

XOXO

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A Sad Farewell/Goodbye {for now}

I don’t even know how to put this into words.

I don’t know how to express my feelings.

I don’t know how this is even possible.

We recently said goodbye {for now} to the matriarch of our family and the “bubbe” to our babies.

After a brave battle with cancer, we now have to accept that she isn’t here.

She won’t get to hear the boys’ first words.

She won’t get to celebrate their birthdays.

She won’t get to dance at their bar mitzvahs.

She won’t get to see them walk the stage at their graduations.

She won’t be walked down the aisle at their weddings..

It is impossible to accept.  How will this ever be okay?

We held a beautiful ceremony over the weekend to honor her spectacular life and the outpouring of love, support, and grief from family, friends, and acquaintances was overwhelming but so touching!

Henry is much too young to understand the darkness in our hearts but he will soon enough.  He will soon understand that Grandpa George doesn’t have Bubbe with him to take him on a stroller ride. He will soon understand that he’s missed out on all of Bubbe’s excellent cooking.  I am still shell-shocked and feel so much sadness for myself, for my husband, for my sister in law, for my father in law, for my nephew…and for my son.

She is the sun in our universe. And now that she is extinguished, there will forever be a huge black-hole in her place.

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She called him “Little Hen” and always said, “look at that punam!”to compliment him on his beautiful little face. She demanded daily photos of him texted to her so that the distance of DC and San Francisco didn’t feel so far. We did weekly video chat dates so that she could watch him grow and reach new developmental milestones.

It wasn’t enough time.

It isn’t enough.

F*ck You, Cancer!

Exercising with Toys

To say that Henry is a busybody is a complete understatement.  He is B-U-S-Y! If you’ve spent even a minute around him, you know what I am talking about.

He has a fixed concentration and determination that is unreal to see unfold.  We have taken a “free-range” approach to parenting which allows him to explore and experiment so that he can have his own experiences and learn from them.

 

Every single damn day is different.  

One day he was high-fiving, a week later he was clapping, and now we are starting to use sign language.

Blink + you’d miss all of the new milestones. It’s truly unbelievable.

I have done a lot of meditating over the past few months and one thing that I’ve learned from Henry is to see each experience with fresh eyes and a new perspective. So many times I feel that I am on auto-pilot and buzz from Point A to Point B.  Now, I make a conscience effort to stop and smell the roses.  As simple as it sounds, it feels challenging at times.

For me, seeing Henry is a  constant reminder that I need to appreciate the moment, instead of wishing life away and “knowing” how things will turn out.

The best part of parenthood is watching him grow, learn, and experience new things. Sometimes parenthood feels hard and overwhelming. It can also be a thankless job!

A thankless job that means many sleepless nights, baby vomit on a new blouse, messes that need to be cleaned up (constantly), blown out diapers, crying spells, and everything else that drives you to the end of your rope where you silently think to yourself, “Are you FREAKING kidding me?!”

However, it is so rewarding.  All of those moments are a distant memory and the fun, happy moments filled with slobbery baby kisses and lots of giggles are the ones that stick with me.

Cataloging Henry’s life through this blog lets me experience those emotions all over again, in various ways. I experience it during the actual moment it happens, again when I upload the photos + add them to the blog, and yet again when I go back and read through the posts I’ve made about him.

Looking at the photo of him pushing around his little blocks brings a huge smile to my face because I can see him doing it in my mind and I can hear his grunts, giggles, and gasps. Yay, I get to experience these sweet moments over and over and over…