My biggest fear used to be burning alive.
But then my perspective changed. I birthed a baby.
Now my biggest, darkest fear is losing Henry.
…losing him too soon.
…losing him to a stranger.
…losing him to a medical mystery.
…losing him in any way that takes him away from me.
It is unfathomable, yet I find myself being paralyzed with fear on a daily basis. While this makes me want to lock him away in a secure bubble to ensure this doesn’t happen, we live each day to the fullest because none of us know how much time we have on this Earth.
I read a news story today that really affected me.
It happened a few blocks away from our house.
A couple with a two year old were robbed at knifepoint while they were out for a walk.
…during the day.
I want to cry. Cry for those people in the news story. Cry for myself. Just cry.
On a daily basis I think to myself, “No one has ever nor will they ever love anyone more than I love Henry.” Seriously, I think this. I think it every single day.
And the truth of the matter is…
I believe it! I honestly believe it with every fiber of my being.
I start to feel proud.
I feel embarrassed.
I feel sorry.
I feel sorry for everyone who isn’t me because they will never experience the intense feeling of love and attachment that I feel for Henry.
…and then the cycle starts over.
I realize that every mama must feel this way for her child.