Flower Child : A True San Franciscan

This kid is a true San Franciscan. He’s a nature lover and a flower child. I couldn’t be more obsessed with him if I tried. Every day I see his kind heart and pure soul, and it makes me love him more and more.

Fun Fact: This little red sweater was his daddy’s when he was his age.  #vintage #36yearsold

 
  

 

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14 Months

Man, it just keeps getting better and better.  Motherhood is so much fun!  Stressful at times, but fun.  Is it because I get away with being a “kid” in an adult body?  Is it because I have this little guy who fits like a perfect little puzzle piece in my heart?

It is so strange because I almost don’t remember Henry being any other way than he is today.  I don’t remember the time when he was tiny and vulnerable and dependent on me for everything.  I almost can’t believe the photos and videos I see of our first few months together. Is that me?  Was I that person?  How can I not remember?  What I do know is that I have to be better about cataloging this information on the blog so that I don’t forget!

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…so here goes!

At 14 months, Henry is a bubbly, friendly, social guy who loves to point at birds and airplanes and say, “LOOK!”

He says duck, moo, mommommom, quack, woof, dog, pa, FISH, and ball.

He loves animals, swings and slides at the park, dancing, doing the itsy bitsy spider hand movements, “reading” books, and exploring. He is our little adventurer.

mr. independent.

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Henry is a chill, relaxed kinda guy who giggles his way through the day. He is SO MUCH FUN!

He loves oranges, apples, bananas, chicken, steak, string cheese, all types of beans, brussels sprouts, and zucchini.

He continues to have the sweetest little face.  When the nanny reports back that Henry is so friendly in the play groups and the other nannies love watching him, I puff up like a proud peacock.

Yes, I hope he is super smart. Yes, I hope he is strong.  Yes, I hope he has a strong spirit. But what I hope for most is that he is a good person with a friendly attitude.  So far, it looks like my wish, hopes, and dreams are being fulfilled. Check, check, and check!

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xoxo

Weekend Fun: Palace of Fine Arts

#Latergram:)

Last weekend, we went to the beach and explored the Palace of Fine Arts in the Marina district.  It was unplanned and completely spontaneous but everything fell into place that day.

Well, almost everything!  We did forget the stroller. Oops! We easily fixed that {problem} by popping into Target and buying him a $20 umbrella stroller.

This kid loved his new wheels!

The Palace of Fine Arts ended up being the perfect stop in our city walk because we had the chance to get up close and personal with the ducks, geese, and swans.  Weirdly enough, Henry woke up that morning saying the word, “duck,” which of course sounds like a different word entirely. We knew it was “duck” because he pointed to the duck photos in his picture books.

Thanks for the help, man! Phew

  
  

Henry + His {Lady} Friend, Miss Lizzie

Henry has a pint-sized friend named Lizzie.  We’ve been having playdates together since Hen was just a few months old.  The smile(s) on their cute, sweet faces when they see each other just melts my heart.

We visited the “Super Bowl City” in downtown SF last weekend and hung out at the Ferry Building.  Even though both babies were in their carriers, they could not keep their hands off of each other. Literally…

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We will be headed to Tahoe together in two weeks where the two will be inseparable, I’m sure.

Mama & Baby Afternoon

Because I’ve been away on work travel, I was needing some 1:1 time with Mr. Henry Hayes!  After a few hours of work, we headed to downtown San Francisco to play tourist for a day and stroll around in the sunshine.

We played with leaves in Washington Park in North Beach. We said HELLO to the sea lions at Pier 39. We got a coffee in Fisherman’s Wharf. We looked at the boats in the Bay and snapped photos of Alcatraz Island.  In short, we had an AWESOME day.

From the smiles and giggles I got from him, I would say that he was wanting some Mama-time too!IMG_3440IMG_3509 IMG_3505 IMG_3501 IMG_3492 IMG_3486 IMG_3473 IMG_3467 IMG_3460 IMG_3456 IMG_3453

Carry Me Away: A Daydreamer’s Thoughts

Everyone always says, Having a baby really changes your life.

I haven’t really been able to relate as I never thought that was true – Henry always fit into our lives and routines and adventures. Perfectly.

However, lately, I’ve been wanting more!  We have a comfortable, cozy little life in a small space in San Francisco, and although you can’t beat the culture, proximity to everything, being two miles from the beach, the food, the people, the weirdness, the amazing weather, etc., it is such a high cost to live here.

A cost on relationships. A cost on any sort of savings plan. A cost on leisure travel.

In reality, it is a  cost on every aspect of our lives.  

Until now, it always felt worth it…but where Henry changes things is that I suddenly want MORE!

I want to be near family, not living on the opposite coast being okay with quarterly visits.

I want Henry to grow up with his cute cousins.

I want a house.

I want a yard.

I want a luxury car.

I want a guilt-free vacation fund.

None of that is happening in San Francisco, where a nanny for an infant costs $25,000/year and paying $3,000/month for a two bedroom apartment is a steal.

It was always MORE than enough. But now, it isn’t.  Yes, I realize all of the stuff I outlined above is just that…STUFF!  But for some reason my wants/needs/goals have changed, and all I want is a simple, relaxed, comfortable life sitting on a porch drinking sweat tea while watching Henry play in the yard with his cousins, neighborhood friends, and the dogs.

I can’t explain the shift. I can’t explain the change of heart.

I want MORE for Henry.  If it were just me and my husband, the California living is a DREAM, with a capital D!

But… I want to be able to provide for Henry in a way that doesn’t cause stress to relationships and a constant “grind” that keeps us away from him most of the day.  Again, that isn’t happening while living in the most expensive city in the country.

So, I’ve been dreaming. Dreaming of where “our place” would be.

The answer? I have no idea!

I love California living but it is too far away from family.  And again, very expensive.

My twin is moving to Chicago in a few weeks but it is WAY too cold and I’m not that keen on going back to the Midwest – talk about culture shock!

My sister-in-law lives in Denver so that could be an option, but again…the snow and cold weather makes it less than desirable for me.

Portland? Too far from family.

Austin? No, not Texas.

Los Angeles? Again, far away from family + expensive, still.

Is it possible to be happy ANYWHERE? I don’t know. One part of me thinks that if I have my family, close friends, Henry, and the pups, that would be enough.

BUT…

What if it isn’t?

Just for the sake of daydreaming, let’s compare $550,000 houses in and around a few “could be” places. Let’s compare.  I’m looking at real estate in select cities. The only criteria I’m filtering for is that it is $550,000 or less, has at least 3 bedrooms, and at least 2 bathrooms.

Denver

Screen Shot 2015-09-11 at 1.38.17 PMThoughts? Umm…absolutely gorgeous. Beautiful! My type of house!

ChicagoScreen Shot 2015-09-11 at 2.20.17 PMThoughts? Whoa! That is a whole lot of house and beyond gorgeous! I love it! However, this huge, gorgeous house isn’t enough to convince me to put up with the below 0 temperatures in Chicago winters. Thanks, but no thanks! Sorry Sis!

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Screen Shot 2015-09-11 at 2.28.43 PMThoughts? Beautiful.  And the culture of Portland seems to be similar to San Francisco, however the clouds, drizzle, and grey skies would make me have a bad case of Seasonal Affective Disorder, for sure!

San Francisco

Welp, I’ve got nothing for you!  At the time of this post, there was not one single property that matched the criteria of a 3 bedroom, 2 bath under $550,000 in San Francisco on Redfin.com.  None. Nada. Not ONE!

*le sigh*

I Will Make An Animal Lover Out of You Yet!

Lions & Tigers & Bear, Oh My!  I took {Baby Beetle} to the SF Zoo to see all of the animals and to get an early start teaching him about animal welfare.  Well, that was my intention, at least.

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To be honest, it turned out to be a day of sunshine filled with me talking to a sleeping baby.  He literally slept the entire 5 hours I pushed him along in the stroller. I saw his sweet little eyeballs a total of two times.  The other time, I was staring at soft little eyelids.henry sea lion

Luckily, I had enough juice on my phone to capture photos of our day.

zoo CollageFor the animals,

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I Lost My {Tech} Job Due to Pregnancy

Okay, I didn’t exactly lose it.  I know where it is.  It is on California Street in San Francisco, CA.

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Also, I wasn’t fired.  That would actually make the scenario a lot better given unemployment options.

The truth is, I resigned.

Clearly, I need to clarify.  The reason I say “lost” is because I do feel the emotions of LOSS.  I loved my job. I loved being a professional woman in the tech space. I loved the responsibility and the steep learning curve of wearing a lot of different hats in a small start up. I’m actually still in the grieving process of accepting my new title as, Unemployed.

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So what happened?  To make a {very} long story short, here’s the jist!  After telling the CEO of our 4 person start up that I was 10 weeks pregnant {back in early July} and a week after I started the job, the environment, attitudes, and workload completely shifted and the bullying started.  After coming home night after night crying myself to sleep and a health scare caused by the stress of the situation, it was time to throw in the towel and admit defeat.

After all, isn’t bringing a baby into the world safely in a healthy, supported environment my number one concern?

There are so many details and parts of this story that would infuriate you.  And yes, I didn’t do everything right either so I must admit a little blame and take responsibility for the outcome of the situation.

However, something is very wrong when the CEO compares my early pregnancy to him walking out and getting struck by a cable car causing him to be disabled.

NEWSFLASH: Pregnancy isn’t a disability.

But wait, is this legal?  The answer is, yes.  Even in the great state of California, a company under 5 employees is favored by the state and government, over the pregnant employee.  As the CEO clearly stated to me, “You don’t have any rights. Well, you have rights as a human being, but not as a pregnant woman in the workforce.”  Well, I guess that settles it.

Let me tell you…job seeking while pregnant is nearly impossible.  It’s time consuming, stressful, and somehow you are always “overqualified” for the job. Weird.

So all of this has led us to be a one income family in San Francisco, which is difficult…nearly impossible.  And also, very VERY stressful.

So what’s next? The truth is, I don’t know.  Now that I’m 37 weeks pregnant, my mind is focusing on welcoming a healthy baby into our home, instead of finding my next job.  However, when April 2015 rolls around, I will be back on the job market and reconsidering my love for the tech industry, that is for sure!

Take care,

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